Teacher Feedback (Rough Cut):

The footage we got from the 10/02/10 helped us make a short rough cut. We made the verses more interesting by adding in various small montages, relating to the sexual act that took place. In addition Jordan edited together a chorus which featured Todd Cook and Jack Clegg miming the chorus. Here he used various different editing techniques to make it less monotonous, which was one of Mrs. McLuckie's main criticisms of our previous footage. He did this via a variety of split screen shots and by quickly swapping the camera angles, to give it a distorted effect.

We then showed Mrs. McLuckie, and let's just say she was less than pleased with our efforts. Reviewing the whole video again she basically scrapped all our footage. Criticisms included; Jack's performance was not good enough, the lighting was bad, the shots were too static, in some cases there was too much going on and the party scenes were not executed well by various party goers ruining the shot by jumping up and down behind the protagonist. However she did like the juxtaposition of the young boy and Jack, and the use of split screen editing.

It was a shock to all of us we thought that we were on the right lines, and with the deadline in four weeks it was a massive push back. But of course Mrs. McLuckie knows what she is talking about, and it is her opinions that will help us achieve the A grade us all so desperately want. The consensus was that we had a great idea, but have not really executed it well. So it was back to square one, we had to rethink the whole video.

The first thing we unanimously decided was to scrap Jack miming the verses completely and fill them with narrative based shots. But keep him miming on the chorus, which will focus more on the young boy segments. Now the story will focus more on the morning after, or just hours after the protagonist has had sex. Therefore it will be him waking up, slowly realising what he has done, and soon regretting his actions.

He will wake up to be greeted with the sight of clothes on the floor and a condom wrapper, clearly illustrating what has just happened. Consequently he tries to relax himself with a cigarette, and then goes into the bathroom to cleanse himself thoroughly. Before getting dressed and making his way downstairs to the after effects of a party, so people clambered over the floor, mess and drink everywhere. Upon seeing who he has just slept with he goes crazy breaks out the house, collapses outside the front door in a crying state, consequently leading to the last scene which will see him reunited with his one night stand, and conclude on an image of the two kissing. All this will be in twined with short flashback shots of the night before, as well as random images, which we have used previously.

Initially the idea was that the protagonist was going to storm out of the house running down the street before collapsing, and then being faced with his one night stand. However Mrs. McLuckie ruled this out, because rarely does a scene featuring running work out well, and it would be extremely hard to film. Therefore we tweaked the ending slightly. Furthermore Miss picked up on several shots which featured animal masks, and it was suggested that this should be presented as one of the main themes of the video. Initially the masks were meant to represent the fact that the person the lead sleeps with is unknown, as well as the protagonists hidden identity as a homosexual. It still will, and we will try and nod at the masks in each scene, whether it is subtle with the mask just resting on the bed, or Jack looking in the mirror to see himself with a mask on.


Another criticism of our video was that there wasn't a given style; the lighting constantly seemed to fluctuate, so on the next shoot we will try to maintain a continuous lighting pattern that will reflect the mood of the story. Also we need to film more of the young boy scenes, so it makes more sense to the viewer as to what is going on, as well as maintaining the juxtaposition with the protagonist.